why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
the day after is always just damage control
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize