I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
