If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
