Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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