So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
