we should wear snuggies to the strip club
vagina is talking i cant
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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