I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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