its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
