I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
