i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
