i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize