Whod you bang
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize