I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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