Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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