Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
