ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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