you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
