we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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