we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
