I need help removing her.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
