Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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