Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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