they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
