How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
