i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
