dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
