I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
