Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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