Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I need to calm my uterus...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
