So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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