you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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