Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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