What a fucking waste of an outfit
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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