Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
