Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
