and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize