Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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