She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
