What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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