Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
