I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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