I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
