i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
