Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
