well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
