moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
This house was built for laser tag.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
