have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
