one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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