somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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