Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
