i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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