2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
