Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just high enough for therapy.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
