Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
