Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
