What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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