I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Green mimosas i think yes
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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