theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I woke up under a house in Key West
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
