i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
