I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize