Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
