he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
